婚姻幽默(中英文)每句都精典 !!!

 "When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let 
     him keep her."                                                            
       如果有人搶了你的老婆,最好的報復就是讓他留著。                                                                                            
       Lee Majors (美國電影明星 - 李.梅爾)                                                                                        
                                                                                                                                                      
       "After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin;
            they just can't face each other,
                   but still they stay" together.                  
       結婚後夫妻就像一個硬幣的兩面·;他們不但不能面對面,而且還分不開。                                                                              
       Al Gore (克林頓當總統時的副總統 - 阿爾·戈爾)        

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      
       "By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
                   If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."                          
       不管怎麼樣,還是結婚的好。如果你找到一個好太太,你會很幸福。假如你找到一個壞的,你會成為一個哲學家。                                           
       Socrates (古希臘的思想家、哲學家,教育家 - 蘇格拉底)                                                                                           
                                                                                                                                                      
       "Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from
            achieving them."                                                                      
       女人給了男人做大事的激勵和靈感,同時又給了男人完成大事的阻力。                                                                                 
       Mike Tyson (前美國拳王 - 麥克.泰森)                                                                                                            
                                                                                                                                                      
       "The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is,
         "What does a woman want?"  有一個好問題我總是沒答案;那就是 “女人到底想要什麼?”                                                                                                                                         
       George Clooney (美國著名演員 - 喬治·克魯尼)                                                                                                    
                                                                                                                                                      
       "I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs
                   with me."                                                                          
       我跟我太太才說了幾個字,她卻回了我一段長篇大論。                                                                                               
       Bill Clinton (美國前總統- 比爾.克林頓)                                                                                                         
                                                                                                                                                      
       "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time 
         to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight,
         dinner, soft  music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."                                                                                           
       有人問我婚姻能維持這麼長的秘密。我們每個星期去餐館兩次。
                晚餐有燭光,音樂,和跳舞。她星期二去,我星期五去。                                     
       George W. Bush (美國前總統 - 小布希)                                                                                                          
                                                                                                                                                      
       "I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."                                                                                  
       我不怕恐怖分子。我已經結婚兩年了。                                                                                                             
       Rudy Giuliani (前紐約市911事件時的市長 - 魯迪.朱利安尼)                                                                                        
                                                                                                                                                      
       "Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming                                                                                                    
       1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,                                                                                                            
       2. Whenever you're right, shut up."                                                                                                            
       有兩個秘密能讓你的婚姻圓滿:                                                                                                                   
       1. 當你錯時,馬上認錯。                                                                                                                        
       2. 當你對時,閉上嘴巴。                                                                                                                        
       Shaquille O’Neal (美國籃球巨星 - 沙奎爾.奧尼爾)                                                                                                
                                                                                                                                                      
       "The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday
               is to forget it once..."                                                              
       最有效的方法記住你太太的生日就是先忘掉一次。                                                                                                   
       Kobe Bryant (美國籃球巨星 - 科比·布萊恩特)                                                                                                    
                                                                                                                                                      
       "My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."                                                                                      
       我太太和我都高高興興的過了二十年,然後我們相遇了。                                                                                             
       Alec Baldwin (美國電影明星 - 亞歷克.鮑德溫)                                                                                                    
                                                                                                                                                      
       "A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong."                                                                                    
       一個好太太當她是錯的時候總是原諒她的丈夫。                                                                                                     
       Barack Obama (美國總統- 歐巴馬)                                                                                                                
                                                                                                                                                      
       "Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy."                                                                                    
       婚姻是唯一的敵我睡在一張床上的戰爭。                                                                                                           
       Tommy Lee (美國老牌電影明星 - 湯米.李)                                                                                                         
                                                                                                                                                      
       "First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"                                                                                                    
       Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."                                                                                                
       有個人驕傲的說 “我的太太是天使!”                                                                                                              
       另一個聽到的人說 “你真幸運!我的還活著!”                                                                                                    
       Jimmy Kimmel (美國著名電視節目主持人 - 吉米.金米爾)                                                                   
                                                                                                                                                      
       “Honey, what happened to ‘ladies first’?” Husband replies,
 “That’s the reason why the world’s a mess today, because 
a lady went first!”       
       “親愛的,女士優先又怎麼了?” 丈夫回答說,”今天世界亂成
             這個樣子就是因為有女的先來了!“                                                          
       David Letterman (美國電視著名脫口秀主持人 - 大衛.萊特曼)                           

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